The end of the line

PHOTO PROMPT © C.E. Ayr

“It was a mistake! Please don’t do this.” Sean pleaded with his boss John aka The Baptist, a name earned by the way he drowned his enemies in the river.

Trains screeched to a halt outside the old warehouse where he was bound and tied to a chair.

“You snitch.” A fist pounded his left temple. “Police informant all this time. After all I’ve done for you?” Another punch. The room spun.

“Please… my family, my kids”, he tasted blood.

“I’m afraid it’s the end of the line for you.”

A black hood was thrown over his head.

98 words

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This was written for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle where we’re challenged to write flash fiction in 100 words or less. I love doing it and it helps hone my writing skills by being concise and leaving out the unnecessary.

 

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Responses

  1. Sandra avatar

    Grimly done.

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    1. Fatima Fakier Deria avatar
  2. Iain Kelly avatar

    Great story, so much said in so few words – a whole gangster crime story here. Well done.

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    1. Fatima Fakier Deria avatar

      Thank you Iain. My first thoughts on the picture was the end of the line signalling the end of a relationship. I didn’t want to do a romantic relationship and I guess the industrial look of the photo took me to a more sinister place.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. rochellewisoff avatar

    Dear Fatima,

    I liked the nickname John the Baptist because of all the people he’d drowned. A lot of story, well told in few words.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Fatima Fakier Deria avatar

      Thank you Rochelle. I always look forward to your feedback. It’s jarring to have a good name for someone so inclined to evil.

      Like

  4. ahtdoucette avatar

    Great little story. I love the part about John the Baptist and the way you build up so much character in such a small space. Well written.

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    1. Fatima Fakier Deria avatar

      Thank you, I’m thrilled you enjoyed it!

      Like

  5. Dead men tell no lies – Fatima Fakier Fiction Writing avatar

    […] back an old character from one of last year’s flash fiction, John the Baptist. Organised crime boss and ruthless with his […]

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