When we were friends 

           PHOTO PROMPT © Liz Young

Shona pulled up her collar. A fine mist gathered around the group, complicit in their betrayal.

Everything about death was cold. Light leaves the eyes. Blood stops flowing, warmth dissipates. But this arm, though limp in her grasp, felt warm.

She wished she could turn back time. Just an hour. Before it all went wrong. She knew they were on the point of no return as they tossed their friend into the shallow hole in the ground, and covered her with dirt. Shona watched till the dirt piled high, then they patted it flat and covered it with dry leaves.

100 words

Written for Friday Fictioneers hosted by the awesome Rochelle where we’re challenged to write flash fiction, an entire story with beginning, middle and end in 100 words or less.

Click to read more flash fiction. 

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Responses

  1. Kecia Sparlin avatar
    Kecia Sparlin

    I loved the sensory details and the mini-plot. Well-crafted. A delight, though chilling, to read.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier Deria avatar
      Fatima Fakier Deria

      Thanks Kecia!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  2. jellico84 avatar
    jellico84

    Such a sad tale. Spurs a memory of a long ago time in a long ago place.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier Deria avatar
      Fatima Fakier Deria

      A beginning of a thriller maybe. Thank you 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  3. neilmacdon avatar
    neilmacdon

    Hauntingly atmospheric

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier Deria avatar
      Fatima Fakier Deria

      Thank you. The photo felt that way to me.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  4. rochellewisoff avatar
    rochellewisoff

    Dear Fatima,

    This will come back to haunt them all. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier Deria avatar
      Fatima Fakier Deria

      Thank you Rochelle. It definitely will haunt them. Could go in all sorts of directions and wrong turns.

      Like

      Reply
  5. Dale avatar
    Dale

    This friendship will have a secret to hold it together. Very well described. They will probably be haunted the rest of their lives…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier Deria avatar
      Fatima Fakier Deria

      Keep them together or drive them apart if it makes them distrustful of each other. Thank you Dale.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  6. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) avatar
    Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    This is a chilling details… such a conspiracy will never hold I think…. and I cannot help thinking what happened.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier Deria avatar
      Fatima Fakier Deria

      Hopefully they will turn on each other as the distrust takes hold and get what they deserve. Perhaps a bunch of teenagers wanted to teach their friend a lesson and it went horribly wrong, and they cover up their misdeed.

      Like

      Reply
  7. Sandra avatar
    Sandra

    Very chilling.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  8. Christine Goodnough avatar
    Christine Goodnough

    I could see this as the opening of a thriller. A gang of kids is so much more potent than singles.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier Deria avatar
      Fatima Fakier Deria

      Thank you Christine. I just might develop it further, see where it goes. 🙂 You’re right about gang of kids too. They can be dangerous and irresponsible.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Christine Goodnough avatar
        Christine Goodnough

        I think it’s that need to show off, to prove yourself just as tough as the rest.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. yuhublogger avatar
    yuhublogger

    I love the description. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier Deria avatar
      Fatima Fakier Deria

      Glad you enjoyed it!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. yuhublogger avatar
        yuhublogger

        I sure did.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. amiewrites74 avatar
    amiewrites74

    Great story! Left me wanting more.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier Deria avatar
      Fatima Fakier Deria

      Thank you Amie!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  11. Magaly Guerrero avatar
    Magaly Guerrero

    The ending does a great job at reinforcing the thought that everything about death (and this murder) is cold.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier Deria avatar
      Fatima Fakier Deria

      Thank you Magaly! That’s the effect I wanted. I’m so pleased it came through.

      Like

      Reply
  12. Liz Young avatar
    Liz Young

    But the arm was still warm! Did they check for a pulse? I do hope she wasn’t buried alive.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier Deria avatar
      Fatima Fakier Deria

      They didn’t check for a pulse. It hints that they probably wanted to get rid of her, to hide whatever misdeed took place before. Despite some regret, they didn’t want to be found out. Thank you for the photo Liz 😊

      Like

      Reply
  13. rgayer55 avatar
    rgayer55

    At least she feels a little remorse. Glad I’m not in that circle of friends. A chilling story.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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