Cold tea and cigarettes

PHOTO PROMPT © JS Brand

 

Viggo awoke to the aroma of spiced tea. Smiling sleepily, he reached across the bed towards her but his hand fell on worn sheets.

He bolted upright. The boat lulled gently in the tide.

A single cup of tea sat on the counter by the sink. And a packet of his favourite cigarettes.

Lighting one he blew grey smoke around his tiny cabin. He loosed a slow sad chuckle. She was saying goodbye in the best way she knew how. Tempest, his beautiful gypsy woman of never-ending horizons was gone.

He sipped his tea. Cold from waiting too long.

99 words

Written for Friday Fictioneers hosted by leader Rochelle. The challenge is to write a story in 100 words or less.

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Responses

  1. Moon avatar
    Moon

    ‘ cold from waiting too long’ . So sad yet so beautiful. I loved the Gypsy woman’s name and that she was a ‘never ending horizon’.
    Beautifully written tale.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      There’s a little of that never-ending horizons in each of us, I imagine. Thank you, Moon.

      Like

      Reply
  2. neilmacdon avatar
    neilmacdon

    Cold tea and cigarettes – what a wonderful image of parting

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      Turned out to be quite evocative. Thank you, Neil 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  3. Cecilia avatar
    Cecilia

    Wonderfully created and crafted story, love the way how you work with words.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      I’m pleased you connected with the story, Cecilia. And thank you for your kind feedback. Made my day!

      Like

      Reply
  4. Iain Kelly avatar
    Iain Kelly

    Great atmosphere, I imagine him waiting there and Tempest breezing back one day unannounced in a few years time.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      She’s definitely like the wind and it would be just like her to do just that. Viggo might have moved on though.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  5. Susan A Eames avatar
    Susan A Eames

    Sad story but beautifully told! I loved how you described her as a woman of ‘never-ending horizons’.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      That phrase seems to appeal to the free spirit in all of us. Thank you, Susan.

      Like

      Reply
  6. Dale avatar
    Dale

    I love this… and now, for some strange reason, have the song by Rufus Wainwright “Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk”
    This was beautifully done, Fatima

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      I’d need to look up that song. Glad you connected with the story. Thanks, Dale

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Dale avatar
        Dale

        😀

        Liked by 2 people

  7. michael1148humphris avatar
    michael1148humphris

    This story painted great images, I really enjoyed it..

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      The imagery turned out to be quite evocative. Glad you enjoyed, Michael 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  8. plaridel avatar
    plaridel

    if she ever comes back, i’m sure she’d know where to find him. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      She might just breeze back into his life again . But perhaps he’d have moved on.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  9. prior.. avatar
    prior..

    really well done – felt like much more than 100 words here –
    and i felt the coldness of the tea and his being left – while it also seemed he understood – 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      He definitely understood. Her free spirited ways was the what he loved about her. Yet it’s the very quality that keeps them apart. Thank you for your awesome feedback too 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  10. Keith's Ramblings avatar
    Keith’s Ramblings

    Such a bittersweet piece. Excellent Fatima

    Click to read my 100 Word Story!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      Thank you, Keith 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  11. yarnspinnerr avatar
    yarnspinnerr

    Beautiful imagery. Loved the primal spirit of this tale.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  12. Kwadwo avatar
    Kwadwo

    A lovely way to say goodbye.
    I wish all breakups turned out this way.
    Nicely done.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      Thank you, Kwadwo. 😊

      Like

      Reply
  13. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) avatar
    Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    Goodbye by absence… that one must be hard to bear.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      Must feel like a punch in the gut!

      Like

      Reply
  14. granonine avatar
    granonine

    One assumes there will be another meeting—and that he is resigned. Good story.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      It would be just like her to arrive unannounced one day. Thank you 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  15. rochellewisoff avatar
    rochellewisoff

    Dear Fatima,

    Atmospheric and emotionally evocative. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      Thank you, Rochelle 😊😊

      Like

      Reply
  16. pennygadd51 avatar
    pennygadd51

    I love that story, Fatima. You’ve crafted it beautifully. The emotions you evoke are completely believable and honest. The image of the cigarettes and cold tea is very powerful.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      Thank you, Penny. I truly appreciate your feedback and I’m glad you enjoyed it 😊

      Like

      Reply
  17. ahtdoucette avatar
    ahtdoucette

    Fatima,
    Excellent use of language in this one. I’d like to pick out my favorite sentence but I’d have to cut and paste the whole thing. You do so much with just a few words. This story reads almost like a haiku that builds and then releases to me. Very well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      Hi Anne, your words have touched my writer’s heart and I’m feeling so encouraged. Thank you for your affirmation of my story! I’m thrilled you connected with the story too.

      Like

      Reply
  18. Tiffany avatar
    Tiffany

    Awesome blog you have herre

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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