Goodnight kiss

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

He shut the closet door and sank into the darkness. Mark clasped his hands over his ears to silence the buzzing. But he was helpless against the visions that replayed in his mind.

Blood. On a single gold hoop earring. Matted brown hair. He tasted bile in the back of his throat.

Three days later his wife’s body was found near the beach and he was arrested. The detective presented the evidence bag containing the stained earring they found in his car. Nausea enveloped him as he tried to remember. He had kissed her goodnight. But after that – nothing.

99 words

I struggled with this image. Everytime I tried to think of something, all I could see was crinoline… Probably because I had read Rochelle’s post first.

So I went back to my thriller roots, and saw jewellery instead in those suspended circular artwork things. I’m not sure if my main MC is guilty or not. Looking forward to seeing your thoughts in the comments. Thank you, Dale Rogerson, my friend, for this week’s image!

Written for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. The challenge is to write a story in 100 words or less. Click the blue frog icon to read more flash fiction from other super cool writers.

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Responses

  1. LucciaGray avatar
    LucciaGray

    Chilling. Well done. There are many novels with unreliable narrators who kill people and don’t remember having done it. That’s so frightening.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      Yep. Unreliable narrators are a trend bordering on the cliched but I guess that depends on the outcome of the story. Thank you for your feedback and for reading, Luccia. 😊

      Like

      Reply
  2. larry trasciatti avatar
    larry trasciatti

    Was he drunk or on drugs or something? This can get complicated

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      Intoxication is a possible explaination. I watched one thriller series where drugs was definitely involved in the amnesia. However the ending turned out to be an accident rather than murder. But they covered it up and so that’s where the crime lies I suppose. Thank you, Larry.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  3. neilmacdon avatar
    neilmacdon

    The whole drama is in him not being sure

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      That’s exactly it and we’ll be fed the information a little at a time. Sometimes it will look as if he’s guilty and other times gives one hope that he’s innocent. Thanks Neil.

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      1. neilmacdon avatar
        neilmacdon

        Is this a novel you’re working on?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Fatima Fakier avatar
        Fatima Fakier

        Not at the moment. But I love thriller plots. They drip the information and totally mislead you. Which is a good skill for creating mystery in any novel. I’m writing a novel that has murder in it. But not quite a thriller, though it has thriller elements. I call it gen fic.

        Like

  4. Iain Kelly avatar
    Iain Kelly

    I’m sure there’s a twist where he didn’t do it! Nice thriller set up.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      Maybe. 🤔 would need another layer of characters to insert the real killer somewhere. Thank you, Iain.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  5. Dale avatar
    Dale

    Most welcome for the photo, Fatima.
    And i really like your take. Why not earrings? And like Neil said, the drama is in his not being sure.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      Thank you, Dale. Glad you so willingly approve! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Dale avatar
        Dale

        😀

        Liked by 1 person

  6. pennygadd51 avatar
    pennygadd51

    I rather think he didn’t do it, because his memory loss starts at the moment he kisses her good night. They were presumably at home, so if he’d killed her there would be forensic evidence of the crime in the house. But the body is found near the beach, with forensic evidence in the car.
    Now, it’s possible that he’s an extremely clever murderer who sees that amnesia after he’s kissed her goodnight gets him out of all sorts of difficulties with possible witnesses seeing him in the car etc, but most murderers aren’t that clever. Their lie would leave as little time unaccounted for as seems realistic.
    But, could be either on the evidence you present!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      Ah I can expect another thriller writer to give such detail. You’ve almost written the entire plot there! 😊
      In thrillers it’s always that there is damning evidence but could easily have been planted there too or end up a million other ways. Other considerations would need to be accounted for such as time etc.. as you have pointed out. I don’t know though, he could maybe only remember that much. Or be confused with another memory maybe? Thank you, Penny. This was fun.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  7. yarnspinnerr avatar
    yarnspinnerr

    Nice little mystery for us. They do resemble those ‘jhumka’ ear-rings.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  8. anuragbakhshi avatar
    anuragbakhshi

    Oooo, is this more than an ‘open-and-shut’ case?

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    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      It definitely is more than meets the eye.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  9. rochellewisoff avatar
    rochellewisoff

    Dear Fatima,

    I’d rather like to think he’s innocent and has been set up. Love where the prompt took you.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    Reply
  10. James McEwan avatar
    James McEwan

    I hope he pleads insanity or else clears his name. Nice piece of criminal fiction.

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  11. lisarey1990 avatar
    lisarey1990

    Love this!

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  12. granonine avatar
    granonine

    So good! So many possibilities. And the poor husband is always the first suspect, which may or may not be true in this case. . . .

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  13. athling2001 avatar
    athling2001

    Scary that he doesn’t remember. Did he or didn’t he? I was confused over the fact that, if he was arrested, how was he free to go into a closet?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      You bring up a good point. Perhaps arrested, then released by some loophole by his clever lawyer. Though now it is a race against time, to prove his innocence, or find out he is guilty. Does that work maybe?

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