Smoke gets in your eyes

PHOTO PROMPT © Anshu Bhojnagarwala

 

It was a surprise for Berr. Cooked meat, with a new tool that Eli called fire. Over many moons Kaya’s friend taught her how to make fire.

Berries and a fist of boar meat, which Eli gave to her, spread out on the rocky floor. A sound alerted her to Berr’s entrance.  Dragging Eli by his hair, matted with blood. The light in his green eyes muted by death.

“You belong to me. No one else.” his voice echoed around the small cave. The smell of blood and roasted meat overwhelmed her. Kaya threw up, tears burning her eyes.

99 words

What an awesome, inspiring image! Certainly was challenging but I enjoyed writing this story that weaseled its way out onto my blog.

Written for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. The challenge is to write a story in 100 words or less. Submit it to the link (frog icon) below and read other flash fiction too.

Hope you’re all had an awesome week and here’s to an amazing weekend!


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Responses

  1. neilmacdon avatar
    neilmacdon

    Intriguing story. I liked the discovery of fire and the use to which it was put. I’m not sure whether you’re saying male dominance has always existed. You probably know, though they’re rarer, that there are gener equal societies in the record

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      Glad it appealed to you, Neil. I recall an article I read of viking warriors who were assumed to be male. Later, scientists realised they were female. My personal belief, is no gender should dominate another. Women are just as capable of domestic violence too. And not as rare as one might think. That said, male dominance is easier to apply in communities where brute strength prevails. And the existence of gender equal societies throughout history does not negate that male dominance has always existed, right?

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. neilmacdon avatar
        neilmacdon

        Not it doesn’t, and it’s the most common pattern. But the existence of even one equal society proves that the pattern isn’t biological or inevitable

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Fatima Fakier avatar
        Fatima Fakier

        It certainly does prove that, and I like to think we are moving towards such a society on the whole.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Abhijit Ray avatar
    Abhijit Ray

    Jealousy was more primitive than fire. A primitive man knew about his possession, when he could not cook his meal.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      I like your comparison of jealousy with fire. Interesting… primitive as fire, and also burns like fire too.

      Like

      Reply
      1. Abhijit Ray avatar
        Abhijit Ray

        True. Even before humans learnt to light fire they had a sense of possession.

        Like

  3. Iain Kelly avatar
    Iain Kelly

    Is it the taste of this new meat that causes her to be sick, or Eli’s behaviour. Probably a bit of both.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      It is actually Berr’s behaviour that made her sick, when he murdered her friend Eli. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  4. pennygadd51 avatar
    pennygadd51

    Your story is graphic and vivid. I like the way you depict the eternal triangle. You show Eli and Kaya spending much time in each others company as Eli teaches her the secret of fire. Then Eli gives Kaya some boar’s meat that she cooks for Berr. What did Eli receive from Kaya? Was it Kaya’s conscience that made her cook a special meal for Berr?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      Gosh, Penny I always look forward to your comments as you make me see things in my own story that I didn’t before! In this case, I think Kaya was simply trying to please her man. But he jumped to conclusions, and the wrong one at that.

      Like

      Reply
  5. plaridel avatar
    plaridel

    jealousy can be dangerous thing. it can consume someone like a raging fire.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      So true, it consumes both the jealous one and the person it is directed towards.

      Like

      Reply
  6. rochellewisoff avatar
    rochellewisoff

    Dear Fatima,

    Some men are still cavemen. 😉 Well written and imaginative.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      Some haven’t evolved since, have they? Thank you, Rochelle.

      Like

      Reply
  7. gahlearner avatar
    gahlearner

    The jealousy, the murder of perceived rivals–a universal trait and seemingly never ending, regardless of gender. Let’s hope we learn better one day.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Still Loved...Still Missed avatar
      Still Loved…Still Missed

      Well said, very intriguing tale.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
    2. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      I suppose it is human nature, and one we must try continuously to transcend.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  8. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) avatar
    Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    I think this type of jealousy still exist… maybe it’s even stronger these days than during the stone age.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      Sadly, there are certainly many cases to prove your point, Björn.

      Like

      Reply
  9. lisarey1990 avatar
    lisarey1990

    Very well-written. There is a sinister feel to his jealously. Great write.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Fatima Fakier avatar
      Fatima Fakier

      Thank you, Lisa!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  10. Dale avatar
    Dale

    Most animals fight for the top position…
    WEll done, Fatima

    Like

    Reply
  11. granonine avatar
    granonine

    You fooled us–Eli seemed like a feminine name, in the circumstances 🙂 Really well written.

    Like

    Reply
  12. Sascha Darlington avatar
    Sascha Darlington

    All territoriality. It’s a good thing she learned how to make fire.

    Like

    Reply

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